Erotic Intelligence
I have been fascinated with this subject from my early days of sexuality training over ten years ago now. I have spent time getting to know my Erotic Intelligence, how it moves through the Erotic Body, and how others witness it in their lives.
It continues to be a source of fascination to me. It holds our life-force energy, creativity, our true nature and gives meaning to who we are. It is the source of how we relate to ourselves and others. Given we are always in partnership with ourselves, this has to be the first place to start.
When we understand, and can be in direct connection to our Erotic Intelligence, we can then trust in ourselves and others with an intimacy that is truthful, vulnerable, and in alignment with who we are. The nature of intimacy is trust in yourself and the other.
When you see the erotic as a pathway connecting you to your true nature, you can bring it into your life as a guiding light. It is a gateway to yourself, not just a portal to pleasure. What you do with others, in partnered Sex is secondary. All of your sexual connections move from the integration of your Erotic Intelligence.
Your Erotic Intelligence is made up of a variety of complex needs and desires, unique to you. Your childhood, genetic blueprint, trauma imprints, your physical, emotional, and spiritual self, and your relationship with your body. Your assumptions and beliefs about relationships.
We know we are separate from our Erotic Self when we feel numb, stressed, and disconnected, taking care of only our most basic needs. This feels more like survival mode than truly thriving.
When we are in the flow of our Erotic Self we are at ease, open, expansive, loving, and allowing. Our nervous system is down-regulated yet engaged with vitality and playfulness. There is joy, relaxation, and pleasure in just being who you are. This is where we truly meet ourselves and where we meet others fully.
Where to Begin?
Somatic Practice, anything that brings you closer to your body and out of your head will help increase connection. Think less and feel more. Dance, breath, sound, movement. Being in nature, Yoga Nidra, meditation, deep rest. Regulated nervous systems that can move freely to hold the tension of arousal. A pleasure practice where you focus on all the pleasure in your life, and how you can increase this. Non-sexual and sexual pleasure are essential qualities. What pleases you? Start there….